It's been a slow, cautious entry into spring this year.  Usually I'm not ready for it cause we never really get winter in Austin, and I love winter.  But this year, after TWO big snow storms, including a crazy polar vortex that left us below freezing for days with no power and no water, I guess I'm ready for spring. 

The problem is, it didn't come at first.  I saw a few signs of spring before the freeze, but those quickly died from the cold.  After the freeze, everything, and I mean everything seemed dead.  I resisted the urge to cut down and clear the ugly brown landscape because more experienced gardeners said to wait.  

​Because nature is so good at "doing it's thing." I know I should have more faith, and deep down I knew that the landscape would adapt somehow.  But after a year full of disappointments, I wasn't hopeful.  That's what spring is supposed to remind us of, hope, but I wasn't there yet.
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Watching the landscape slowly emerge over the next few weeks, I was constantly reminded of the importance of patience.  Nature works on a timeline, but it's a very LONG timeline that has spanned billions of years on this planet.  As I see more and more green around me now, and more green than brown, my hope is returning. 

​My son's spirit animal is a cicada.  He was at nature camp with me five summers ago, my first summer camp actually, and he had a moment with a cicada that stopped him in his tracks.  Me and 10 other children all stopped and silently watched him pick up the cicada and put it on a tree.  It was a short interaction, but it was magical.  When we got home, I looked up the meaning of the cicada spirit animal. It was perfect for him.  If you ever have an interaction like this, I highly recommend doing a quick search to find the organism's meaning.

We went on to learn about periodic cicadas, like the 17 year Brood X that is emerging this year.  They lay their eggs on a plant, and the larvae emerge and crawl down into the soil, where they stay for 17 years until they emerge.  They then crawl up the tree, molt out of their exoskeleton, spread their beautiful wings, and enjoy a few weeks of life above ground.  It's truly amazing when you think about it.  How do they know when to emerge?  Why do they spend almost their entire life underground?  
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To me, cicadas embody patience.  They guide us to dig through the layers and layers of gunk that life has piled on us, to help us uncover what is true.   ​The pandemic has had us all cooped up, like these cicadas, just waiting to live life again.  And just like these cicadas, our time "underground" has uncovered some truths that I hope we can appreciate and carry into this new kind of spring and summer season.   There is hope, but there is still a lot of ugly in the world to put up with, so be patient, and stay open and curious.

From that calmer place, I was now a witness to my thoughts, instead of trying to juggle them all and make sense of them. Like nature, we are in this life for the long haul, and I’m reminded that I don’t need all the answers now. I just need to do the next right thing (Anna, from Frozen II). Especially in emergency situations, survival depends on one step at a time.

During this nearly unbearable vortex of cold weather that shut everything down for days, I slowed down and started noticing what was showing up in my life. Niksen is great for showing us what’s important, and drawing us to create or bring more of it into our lives.

One thing that showed up that I followed was a phrase in my inbox: “If you want a reminder of what’s important, ask the squirrels!” This link lead me to an article that reminded me to just turn my brain off and listen. “(nature) will gladly remind you that your anxiety and outrage aren’t helping you stay present.” Again, nature returns me to a more neutral baseline.

This lead me to notice when I ran across squirrels several more times that week. From the ones under my bird feeder outside, to chapter books I read with my son, to a new movie on Disney+, squirrels all around me were reminding me what was important. So I did what I always do when I run across something repeatedly: I looked up its meaning.

As a spirit animal, squirrels teach us that this moment is temporary, and we should enjoy it and appreciate it. If we listen and watch, we can find it’s strength and its lesson that it has to teach.

Squirrels of course are also practical, and teach us to prepare for a rainy day and work hard for our future. This was fitting for this polar vortex that we were in, and I was glad we had prepared with enough food, water, batteries and camping gear.
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So my mind continues to be a bit scattered, and I feel like I’m holding too many acorns, but I’m slowly saving them and planting them, observing, and preparing for what life brings next. You never know which acorn we plant will actually turn into a tree and bring us the abundance we seek.​

Do you ever feel exhausted for no obvious reason?  You're not sick, over-stressed or menstruating, but yet you feel exhausted?  That happened to me again this week, and the first thing I looked at is the lunar cycle.  Sure enough, there's a new moon this week. 

I tend to be drawn towards more esoteric explanations.  Those that recognize the new moon as a time of high vibrational energy that opens us up and leaves us vulnerable.  Vulnerable to old hurts and emotions that were hidden in our cells.  It purges the old, and leaves us feeling fatigued and unmotivated, scatterbrained and disorganized.  My new mantra is "It's OK.  It's a time for thinking and feeling, not action."


As a systems thinker, I love looking at the whole cycle of life, including the lunar cycles, and relating them to my life.  This awareness brings clarity, hope and connection within myself, and with humans all throughout time.   Here's the cycle I choose to follow:

This week, when I started fading into exhaustion, I chose to sit and look at rocks with the children at school.  I found hearts, moon shapes, "teeth," fossils, and more.  As I dug through the pea gravel, I began to relax and see clearly.  I began to connect with the children around me.  And the fog began to lift.  I began to feel inspired again.  Little did I know how important this type of grounding is during the new moon...

I am a night owl living in a world of morning larks.  I've grown up hearing all the "morning bird gets the worm" metaphors I can stand.  I hate mornings.  I'm useless until around 11am.  And I'm finally OK with that after reading some encouraging words and scientific proof that I'm not damaged.

I don't believe that my whole day is a waste, or that I'll never be successful if I don't jump on tasks before lunch time. 

To be fair, I've tried getting up early for years.  Even after having a child, I just can't do it.  I lay in bed stressed out about getting to sleep so I can wake up early, and ended up losing more and more sleep and just dragging every. single. day.  

I thought there was something wrong with me, and that my low energy was some sort of hormonal issue. 

But then COVID hit, and I didn't have to be anywhere early.  I could roll out of bed for an early meeting, and then roll right back into bed and still get all my work done later.  I was happier and full of more energy than I've been since I was 30 (I'm 44 now).  It could have also been that I'm an introvert, and not having to interact with people all day meant that my energy reserves were still high at the end of the day.  I fell in love with nights, and was high on my new found energy.  Now I'm on a mission to find a job where I can continue to do this for as long as I want to.  

Teaching is wonderful, and so fulfilling and fun, but the hours and pay are grueling.  There has to be a better way.  I'm inspired to revamp my offerings to include more virtual and subscriber content, which also means I can offer more wonder to more people, anywhere in the world.  So stay tuned!

My spirit animal has always been a spider, but I think owls are calling me now...

​Owl Symbolism
Symbolic meanings for the owl are:

• Intuition, ability to see what others do not see, creating more gratitude
• Urges you to sit in silence and listen to your inner being
• Capacity to see beyond deceit and masks
• Wisdom in decisions and opinions
• The announcer of a life transition, change and identify opportunities within this chaotic time

I just love foggy days.  Mostly because I love any excuse to curl up inside, nap, read and drink tea all day.  ​​It actually lightens my darkness, so I end up having a peaceful, content day.  Depression is an old friend of mine, who is easier to embrace when the whole world matches its mood. ​ I have permission to embrace the gloom as normal that day, and it lifts me up.  ​ Sunny days ironically bring guilt and gloom to me, as I feel all the "shoulds" to get outside and enjoy them.  Of course, if I lived in a place where fog was the norm, I might feel differently.
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I also love foggy days because like snow, fog totally transforms the landscape and makes it totally new.  I love the mystery of it, and discovering what's just ahead.  Even though I already know because I walk or drive these routes every day.  But today it all seems new and fresh, and ready to be discovered.  This is both metaphorical and real, of course.

If you don't feel the same sense of wonder and content that I do, that's OK.  Perhaps some fun facts will intrigue you enough to spark some wonder and lightness in your perception.  

1. If you could look at fog through a high speed camera, you would see hundreds of tiny droplets of water moving through the air.
2. There are TEN different types of fog, which is extremely useful to know if you are a pilot.
3. Shadows are cast through fog in three dimensions that appear as "beams" oriented parallel to the light source.
4. Many ancient cultures collected water from fog.  Scientists today have developed screens that can collect up to 100 gallons of water a day!
5. The Redwood forests in California get 30-40% of of their moisture from coastal fog.
6. The presence of fog has often played an important role in historical events, such as battles.  It provides great cover for an escape.
7. Ever heard of a FOGBOW?  It's a rainbow made out of fog!

You can turn a foggy day into a science experiment with your children too (or with a curious adult).   Click here to learn how from the masters of meteorology - NASA.

If the gloom of a foggy day continues to get you down, perhaps remembering that there's still a bright blue sky above all those clouds.  If you can just muster the means to fly high enough over your own clouds to see it.